I’ve been in the mood for something new. I’ve felt change coming for a while and it finally did. Things have definitely changed for me in the past few months. Everything from boyfriend and friends, to work ethic and living situation. Change is a very normal part of my life, but it is something that I have not always been comfortable with. 

When I was younger I was the child who loved everyone to be in the same place all of the time. I would LOVE for our family to go on vacations and all stay in the same hotel. It was safe for me. I lived a lot of my life with my family spread over different continents. There was one point that mom and I were in America, dad was in Israel (and traveling other parts of the world like he did so often back then) and my sister was in Australia. We all felt so spread out. But, after living years of my life with my family in different places you learn to enjoy when we are together and go on. 

That is just one instance where change was uncomfortable for me. One of the biggest changes in my life had to be when we moved to Israel. I was eleven years old and I had never moved. I had traveled and seen different parts of the world. I had been to Israel more times then I could count, but I always knew that I was coming right back and going right back to the school I had gone to since kindergarten and the house I came home to when I was born. But, not then. Not on July 11, 2000. That was when life really changed. It’s a reality check being an akward teenager in a country full of people you don’t know and have nothing in common with. But, there I was and through all of those wonderful circumstances that insued I learned to love change.

I learned that change was something that I could find comfort in. It was never easy, but it was through that unwelcome pain that my heart was tested, tried, and molded into what it was supposed to be. It was through the long nights and even longer days that God would speak. There I was, lowest of the low, lonely and ’stuck’ but the two things I knew was that change was going to happen no matter what, and God would be there when it did. 

It’s amazing now, however, that looking back on those wonderful experiences I long for that change again. Like I said the past few months have brought on all sorts of changes in my life. Some of them wonderful, and very needed, some of them timely, some of the had been coming for a while, and some of them happened only because of divine intervention, and I don’t say that lightly. So with all of this up and down craziness why is it that my heart is still yearning for change. Why is it that it takes everything inside of me not to say hey I’m ready to get out of here? 

This new era has begun, I really believe that. I know that 2009 is a new year for me – so why is it that I want to get out of here so bad? 

I heard a quote last night on the movie, “My Sassy Girl”. An old man sitting under a tree said, “What if changing your destiny, is your destiny.” 

It may not seem too profound to you, whoever you may be, whereever you may be, but to me – that rocked my world. What if chasing this thing that I feel growing in my heart is what I am supposed to be doing even if it feels like it is going against the grain. 

Just some rambling thoughts on this very long, work filled night.